# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
