i just had sex bonerless
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
