I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
