I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
