so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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