Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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