An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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