hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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