you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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