You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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