what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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