Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
