But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
