Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
