know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
