found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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