I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im holly from the hills drunk
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
