i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
whose parrot is this?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize