Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Mom said you looked used
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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