is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
