Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
ttyl tear gas
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
