After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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