I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
