Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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