I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
