I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
