I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
