dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
