Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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