You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
