Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
