I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Im part way to drunk.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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