This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
They took my balls.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
