he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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