In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
