Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
