Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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