we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
