once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
