Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
