Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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