I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
