id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
