i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We need to get me chipped asap
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
