So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
