i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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