Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
