so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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