I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
