He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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